What a fantastic Thanksgiving! At first, I was very disappointed because I couldn't make it out to my brother's house this year. So we celebrated here in Houston at my son's house. Sue, my daughter-in-law, did a fantastic job with the food and made it all look like a page from Martha Stewart! I tasted everything on the table... spent several hours digesting and talking.. and then made my escape just as the younger generation was diving into Nick's famous eggnog! That was a task better left to them!!
Monica, Garrett and E came in from Dallas for Thanksgiving and stayed to help with the packing! Anyone who has ever been in my apartment would appreciate the daunting task of packing it all for storage - it was overwhelming for me to even think about it, but Nick, Sue, Monica, E, Garrett and Gordon... did it!! They were an awesome team.. and even let me keep my rocks! (ok... that IS a story for another day!) There are still a few loose ends, but most of it is packed and ready for a storage unit by mid-December!
The good and bad news is... I was able to help, because ONCE AGAIN MY CHEMO WAS POSTPONED!! It worked out for the better this weekend, but is becoming a real frustration - getting totally psyched for it and then it doesn't happen! This time, I went in for the bloodwork on Friday expecting my next treatment. Then after waiting four hours, was told that my doctor had noted that my dosage needed to be adjusted, but hadn't updated the order! They tried, but weren't able to reach him, so I would have to wait until he returns from the holidays! At this point, I just want to get on with it...
Still, I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with loved ones ... and am ready for the move... so I am a lucky duck!!
BTW - HAPPY ST. ANDREW'S DAY /TEXAS DAY OF THE SCOTS!!
Slainte'
Sia
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
More good days...
I had to arrive at MDA for 7:30 am yesterday to have blood work done. My son, Nick, is such a trooper.. he stayed with me the night before so we could go together and then followed me through all the various appointments throughout the day, making sure that I didn't get lost and wander the hospital halls for all of eternity!
It is standard procedure to have blood tested the day of chemo to monitor the effects of chemo and to be sure that everything is functioning as it should be (red & white blood count, liver and kidneys ...). Then you have to wait 2 hours and consult with the doctor for the results.
Between the lab and the doctor appointment, I went to the research department for more testing. I have agreed to contribute to a study to monitor side effects of the specific type of chemo which I am taking. One of the most scary side effects for me is the loss of feeling and/or extreme sensitivity to cold in hands and feet, as this can directly effect my ability to play guitar. The tests include basic motor skills (timed peg board) and sensitivity tests to pressure, sharp, and cold. Without looking, I have to tell them what I am sensing. It is interesting to see how they conduct the testing and has made me much more aware. Also the ladies doing the research are really nice people... so it's a joy to work with them.
After the research testing, I met with Dr. Garrett. I get the feeling that I provide his dry sense of humor with a fresh source of material! He did ask genuinely about my experience at the Integrative Medicine clinic and I was able to tell him that I found it extremely helpful. It seems to have gotten his interest and may be a resource that he was honestly unaware of previously.
We reviewed the side effects that I experienced with my first round of chemo.. and then the blood work. "No chemo today!" He said that my white blood count was too low and that I would have to wait a week for the next treatment. I was very surprised, as I have been feeling really good the last few days, and I asked him why my count was so low .... "Probably all that yoga stuff..." was his dry reply!!
Then he explained that we just might have to reduce the dosage of the chemo. Every person's body responds differently to treatment and we just had to adjust and find the right dosage. He assured me that this would not affect the timeline.
So the good news of the day.. I should be able to have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day... my next chemo will be the day AFTER!!
Today I will spend the day sorting and packing and trying to bring a little order to my chaotic life!! Gordon went to stay on the boat for the weekend... he is a smart man!
Sia
It is standard procedure to have blood tested the day of chemo to monitor the effects of chemo and to be sure that everything is functioning as it should be (red & white blood count, liver and kidneys ...). Then you have to wait 2 hours and consult with the doctor for the results.
Between the lab and the doctor appointment, I went to the research department for more testing. I have agreed to contribute to a study to monitor side effects of the specific type of chemo which I am taking. One of the most scary side effects for me is the loss of feeling and/or extreme sensitivity to cold in hands and feet, as this can directly effect my ability to play guitar. The tests include basic motor skills (timed peg board) and sensitivity tests to pressure, sharp, and cold. Without looking, I have to tell them what I am sensing. It is interesting to see how they conduct the testing and has made me much more aware. Also the ladies doing the research are really nice people... so it's a joy to work with them.
After the research testing, I met with Dr. Garrett. I get the feeling that I provide his dry sense of humor with a fresh source of material! He did ask genuinely about my experience at the Integrative Medicine clinic and I was able to tell him that I found it extremely helpful. It seems to have gotten his interest and may be a resource that he was honestly unaware of previously.
We reviewed the side effects that I experienced with my first round of chemo.. and then the blood work. "No chemo today!" He said that my white blood count was too low and that I would have to wait a week for the next treatment. I was very surprised, as I have been feeling really good the last few days, and I asked him why my count was so low .... "Probably all that yoga stuff..." was his dry reply!!
Then he explained that we just might have to reduce the dosage of the chemo. Every person's body responds differently to treatment and we just had to adjust and find the right dosage. He assured me that this would not affect the timeline.
So the good news of the day.. I should be able to have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day... my next chemo will be the day AFTER!!
Today I will spend the day sorting and packing and trying to bring a little order to my chaotic life!! Gordon went to stay on the boat for the weekend... he is a smart man!
Sia
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Eye of the Storm...
I feel great! I have felt really good for the last 3 days other than completely tiring myself out packing! Yes, I have decided to give up my apartment for the duration of my treatments for any number of reasons, mostly because it will keep me ahead of my finances and give me one less thing to worry about. It also just makes sense from a personal standpoint, since it is probably best for me not to be alone so much. Since my lease expires the first of December, there was a bit of urgency to the decision which is why I have been taking advantage of my good days to begin the packing process.
It's hard to believe that it has been over two weeks since my last chemo treatment. The side effects have completely disappeared in the last couple of days and I am also finally feeling better from the surgery... I was able to make a trip over to Reliant to see some of my work buddies!! They gathered boxes for me and came down to the drive through. It was so good to see them - the greatest group I have ever worked with!!
I also had my appointment with the doctors at MDA Integrative Medicine Clinic which was especially encouraging to me. They went over basic diet, exercise, suppliments, and complimentary care for cancer patients and really listened to my personal concerns. One thing that I've found about MDA is that it is a complete package.. but you have to look for all the pieces. My oncologist is a phenominal cancer doctor, but he is so focused on his specialty that his view can be a little one-sided.
For example - I am very concerned about my kidneys. Since I was a small child I have had problems due to oversensitity. When I voiced my concern to Dr. Garrett, his response was, "Well, would you rather die of cancer or lose a kidney - you CAN live without a kidney!" Of course, I don't want to do either. I advised my doctor that he had to "QUIT WATCHING HOUSE!!" :-)
The integrative team is more responsive to those types of personal concerns, and can give me advice to help control side effects and minimize damage to my kidneys. Tomorrow before my chemo, I will meet with a nutritionist to go over specific needs for my type of cancer and chemo and help me to determine the best personal plan!
Tomorrow is another chemo day... so I am off to enjoy this beautiful day! Thank you so much for all your prayers and good wishes - for the cuddly teddy bears, incredibly beautiful flowers, candles... and of course, the BOXES!! I am most blessed!!
much love,
Sia
It's hard to believe that it has been over two weeks since my last chemo treatment. The side effects have completely disappeared in the last couple of days and I am also finally feeling better from the surgery... I was able to make a trip over to Reliant to see some of my work buddies!! They gathered boxes for me and came down to the drive through. It was so good to see them - the greatest group I have ever worked with!!
I also had my appointment with the doctors at MDA Integrative Medicine Clinic which was especially encouraging to me. They went over basic diet, exercise, suppliments, and complimentary care for cancer patients and really listened to my personal concerns. One thing that I've found about MDA is that it is a complete package.. but you have to look for all the pieces. My oncologist is a phenominal cancer doctor, but he is so focused on his specialty that his view can be a little one-sided.
For example - I am very concerned about my kidneys. Since I was a small child I have had problems due to oversensitity. When I voiced my concern to Dr. Garrett, his response was, "Well, would you rather die of cancer or lose a kidney - you CAN live without a kidney!" Of course, I don't want to do either. I advised my doctor that he had to "QUIT WATCHING HOUSE!!" :-)
The integrative team is more responsive to those types of personal concerns, and can give me advice to help control side effects and minimize damage to my kidneys. Tomorrow before my chemo, I will meet with a nutritionist to go over specific needs for my type of cancer and chemo and help me to determine the best personal plan!
Tomorrow is another chemo day... so I am off to enjoy this beautiful day! Thank you so much for all your prayers and good wishes - for the cuddly teddy bears, incredibly beautiful flowers, candles... and of course, the BOXES!! I am most blessed!!
much love,
Sia
Monday, November 10, 2008
Life with chemo - or "am I glowing in the dark yet"?
I really do apologize to all of you who are following the blog to have left you in suspense about the chemo. The good news is that it was "not that bad" - the bad news "it will get worse"...
I'm sure that part of it is just anxiety, but mostly I stay very tired and sick at my stomach - like a mild flu. There are some wierd side effects that I'm still trying to adjust to - like sensitity to touch (particularly cold), and a little bit of a jittery feeling like my nerves are all twitching at once. My biggest disappointment was that the side effects increased even after I stopped the treatment (duh - that really is something that I should have known). Somehow I expected the worse to be DURING the 3 days when they were administring treatment but there was a bit of a delayed reaction. Even though we disconnected the pump Friday night, yesterday was probably the worse day. So far today is much better!
That's the quick physical report - nothing really earth shattering - no green skin or sudden immergence of latent super hero skills (ha - silly me - everyone knows that's radiation not chemo!). Although I am a little uncomfortable, I am doing pretty well and am still very thankful for my fantastic support group. My biggest regret is that I wasn't able to get outside more last week - the weather was so incredibly beautiful!
This week I learned that I should have had my teeth cleaned BEFORE starting chemo. Chemo can cause more cavities as well as mouth sores, but due to risk of infection, I can't have any work done while on chemo treatments! Wish I had known that a couple of weeks ago!
I pray that none of you, or anyone you know, ever has to go through the Cancer Experperience, but chances are some of you will. So just maybe, I can use my own lessons learned to help the next person and add some meaning to all this. Let me know if you have any questions, but PLEASE remember that the comments on the Blog are visible to everyone. If you want to send me a personal message, please use my email address!
Moving on from the basic physical report to... continuing personal journey!
This whole new world is difficult for me to adjust to - the world of medical magic! When I accepted the fact that I needed conventional help, there was a part of me that just let go of the "reins". No matter how badly I wanted to believe that I could, I conceded that my desire for natural and simple remedies would not be sufficient - So I passed through the MDA looking glass and became part of their world. I pushed past my fear and basic distrust of "chemical solutions" and resolved myself to "do whatever the doctor ordered" - prepared like Alice to "nibble here" and " eat this"...
Not only is that completely out of character for me, but I've come to realize that it is not necessary. Sure, the doctors are professionals and know the conditions and the drugs, and in most cases they will be able to prescribe the best course of action. But no matter how fantastic the doctors are at MDA or anywhere else, I still believe that every person has to be involved and responsible for their own treatment and condition. "Google before you swallow"... a new version of "look before you leap"!
I was very excited to find out that MDA and the Cancer Society believe that as well. They have a whole area of support known as the "Complementary & Alternative Medicines" where individuals can suppliment their conventional cancer treatments with everything from accupuncture to yoga... nutrition, exercise, prayer and music!
So I am back to exploring my options... oh, I will still follow the prescribed chemo treatments, but at least I feel like I can be an active participant in my own healing process. That's a good thing!
Much love,
Sia
I'm sure that part of it is just anxiety, but mostly I stay very tired and sick at my stomach - like a mild flu. There are some wierd side effects that I'm still trying to adjust to - like sensitity to touch (particularly cold), and a little bit of a jittery feeling like my nerves are all twitching at once. My biggest disappointment was that the side effects increased even after I stopped the treatment (duh - that really is something that I should have known). Somehow I expected the worse to be DURING the 3 days when they were administring treatment but there was a bit of a delayed reaction. Even though we disconnected the pump Friday night, yesterday was probably the worse day. So far today is much better!
That's the quick physical report - nothing really earth shattering - no green skin or sudden immergence of latent super hero skills (ha - silly me - everyone knows that's radiation not chemo!). Although I am a little uncomfortable, I am doing pretty well and am still very thankful for my fantastic support group. My biggest regret is that I wasn't able to get outside more last week - the weather was so incredibly beautiful!
This week I learned that I should have had my teeth cleaned BEFORE starting chemo. Chemo can cause more cavities as well as mouth sores, but due to risk of infection, I can't have any work done while on chemo treatments! Wish I had known that a couple of weeks ago!
I pray that none of you, or anyone you know, ever has to go through the Cancer Experperience, but chances are some of you will. So just maybe, I can use my own lessons learned to help the next person and add some meaning to all this. Let me know if you have any questions, but PLEASE remember that the comments on the Blog are visible to everyone. If you want to send me a personal message, please use my email address!
Moving on from the basic physical report to... continuing personal journey!
This whole new world is difficult for me to adjust to - the world of medical magic! When I accepted the fact that I needed conventional help, there was a part of me that just let go of the "reins". No matter how badly I wanted to believe that I could, I conceded that my desire for natural and simple remedies would not be sufficient - So I passed through the MDA looking glass and became part of their world. I pushed past my fear and basic distrust of "chemical solutions" and resolved myself to "do whatever the doctor ordered" - prepared like Alice to "nibble here" and " eat this"...
Not only is that completely out of character for me, but I've come to realize that it is not necessary. Sure, the doctors are professionals and know the conditions and the drugs, and in most cases they will be able to prescribe the best course of action. But no matter how fantastic the doctors are at MDA or anywhere else, I still believe that every person has to be involved and responsible for their own treatment and condition. "Google before you swallow"... a new version of "look before you leap"!
I was very excited to find out that MDA and the Cancer Society believe that as well. They have a whole area of support known as the "Complementary & Alternative Medicines" where individuals can suppliment their conventional cancer treatments with everything from accupuncture to yoga... nutrition, exercise, prayer and music!
So I am back to exploring my options... oh, I will still follow the prescribed chemo treatments, but at least I feel like I can be an active participant in my own healing process. That's a good thing!
Much love,
Sia
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Liver Biopsy Clean - Chemo Treatment Starts
This is going to be really short and sweet, but I didn't want to keep everyone waiting for the good news. I promise to write more later.
The liver biopsy did not show any cancer cells (yeah!!).. there is a marker in place in case and future testing is required, but for now it looks good!
We started chemo treatments yesterday and I am currently walking around with a "pump in a fanny pack" for the next two days. We didn't get home until after 11 pm so it was an incredibly long day.
More later....
love,
Sia
The liver biopsy did not show any cancer cells (yeah!!).. there is a marker in place in case and future testing is required, but for now it looks good!
We started chemo treatments yesterday and I am currently walking around with a "pump in a fanny pack" for the next two days. We didn't get home until after 11 pm so it was an incredibly long day.
More later....
love,
Sia
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Roller coaster...
There are fairly good days... and some days when I just don't want to get out of bed. I've developed a new addiction to tv because it is something that I can do without any thought or effort on my part whatsoever - but then I'm not sure that's a good thing.
I am still struggling with "doing things"... I LIKE to do things and to be productive. Of course, in honest retrospect, I have been "beating the air" for several years. I do appreciate an opportunity to refocus and redefine my priorities - I just need to find the mental energy to actually DO that!
Now my latest adventure...
I had the liver biopsy on Wednesday, and to be honest, I wasn't expecting it to be such a big deal... but it literally sent me to bed for a couple of days. I've never felt like such a wimp! They use a very tiny needle... and I had to lay completely still for over two hours inside the ct scan machine. They used ct scan and sonogram while inserting the needle in order to get a sample of the exact spot on the liver. The needle has to be pushed in very slowly and then once it is in the right location, it stays there while they ...draw the sample tissue and then take the sample to pathology to verify it is a viable sample. The needle is only removed after confirmation from pathology.
I was awake under a mild sedation throughout the procedure, and one of the most difficult things was having to hold my arms straight above my head without moving... my shoulders completely locked up and I was totally miserable.
Of course, that may have helped to divert my attention from the pain in my solarplexes as the needle went in. Like the old solution for a headache - hit your finger with a hammer!
I have an appointment with my doctor next Wednesday to review the results.
Yesterday was Halloween. All the children at MDA were in costume and "trick or treating" around the halls. They were so adorable. The staff really does go above and beyond.
My kids are having the annual Halloween party tonight... costumes and decorations are always absolutely incredible! Nick & Monica have traditionally celebrated a joint party on Halloween, which is conveniently right in the middle of their birthdays! This year Chris and Gosia are the hosts.... and the theme is "Super Heroes Gone Wrong"... I think Gordon and I will be the "Cobwebs"... We're hoping to at least make an appearance and see all the costumes!
As always... thank you to all of YOU for your support. Special thanks to Betty & Kristen for the bluebonnet tartan bear... to my sister for the edible arrangement & gifts... and especially to Allison for the signed copy of Ian Rankin's new novel - OMG - That was a surprise!!
Much love to you all.
Sia
I am still struggling with "doing things"... I LIKE to do things and to be productive. Of course, in honest retrospect, I have been "beating the air" for several years. I do appreciate an opportunity to refocus and redefine my priorities - I just need to find the mental energy to actually DO that!
Now my latest adventure...
I had the liver biopsy on Wednesday, and to be honest, I wasn't expecting it to be such a big deal... but it literally sent me to bed for a couple of days. I've never felt like such a wimp! They use a very tiny needle... and I had to lay completely still for over two hours inside the ct scan machine. They used ct scan and sonogram while inserting the needle in order to get a sample of the exact spot on the liver. The needle has to be pushed in very slowly and then once it is in the right location, it stays there while they ...draw the sample tissue and then take the sample to pathology to verify it is a viable sample. The needle is only removed after confirmation from pathology.
I was awake under a mild sedation throughout the procedure, and one of the most difficult things was having to hold my arms straight above my head without moving... my shoulders completely locked up and I was totally miserable.
Of course, that may have helped to divert my attention from the pain in my solarplexes as the needle went in. Like the old solution for a headache - hit your finger with a hammer!
I have an appointment with my doctor next Wednesday to review the results.
Yesterday was Halloween. All the children at MDA were in costume and "trick or treating" around the halls. They were so adorable. The staff really does go above and beyond.
My kids are having the annual Halloween party tonight... costumes and decorations are always absolutely incredible! Nick & Monica have traditionally celebrated a joint party on Halloween, which is conveniently right in the middle of their birthdays! This year Chris and Gosia are the hosts.... and the theme is "Super Heroes Gone Wrong"... I think Gordon and I will be the "Cobwebs"... We're hoping to at least make an appearance and see all the costumes!
As always... thank you to all of YOU for your support. Special thanks to Betty & Kristen for the bluebonnet tartan bear... to my sister for the edible arrangement & gifts... and especially to Allison for the signed copy of Ian Rankin's new novel - OMG - That was a surprise!!
Much love to you all.
Sia
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