There are fairly good days... and some days when I just don't want to get out of bed. I've developed a new addiction to tv because it is something that I can do without any thought or effort on my part whatsoever - but then I'm not sure that's a good thing.
I am still struggling with "doing things"... I LIKE to do things and to be productive. Of course, in honest retrospect, I have been "beating the air" for several years. I do appreciate an opportunity to refocus and redefine my priorities - I just need to find the mental energy to actually DO that!
Now my latest adventure...
I had the liver biopsy on Wednesday, and to be honest, I wasn't expecting it to be such a big deal... but it literally sent me to bed for a couple of days. I've never felt like such a wimp! They use a very tiny needle... and I had to lay completely still for over two hours inside the ct scan machine. They used ct scan and sonogram while inserting the needle in order to get a sample of the exact spot on the liver. The needle has to be pushed in very slowly and then once it is in the right location, it stays there while they ...draw the sample tissue and then take the sample to pathology to verify it is a viable sample. The needle is only removed after confirmation from pathology.
I was awake under a mild sedation throughout the procedure, and one of the most difficult things was having to hold my arms straight above my head without moving... my shoulders completely locked up and I was totally miserable.
Of course, that may have helped to divert my attention from the pain in my solarplexes as the needle went in. Like the old solution for a headache - hit your finger with a hammer!
I have an appointment with my doctor next Wednesday to review the results.
Yesterday was Halloween. All the children at MDA were in costume and "trick or treating" around the halls. They were so adorable. The staff really does go above and beyond.
My kids are having the annual Halloween party tonight... costumes and decorations are always absolutely incredible! Nick & Monica have traditionally celebrated a joint party on Halloween, which is conveniently right in the middle of their birthdays! This year Chris and Gosia are the hosts.... and the theme is "Super Heroes Gone Wrong"... I think Gordon and I will be the "Cobwebs"... We're hoping to at least make an appearance and see all the costumes!
As always... thank you to all of YOU for your support. Special thanks to Betty & Kristen for the bluebonnet tartan bear... to my sister for the edible arrangement & gifts... and especially to Allison for the signed copy of Ian Rankin's new novel - OMG - That was a surprise!!
Much love to you all.
Sia
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4 comments:
Dear Sia,
I hope you had an enjoyable Halloween party. I saw a lot of costumes as I left the office around midnight as people were catching cabs to parties (I myself had a few more hours of work to put in at home, but hey, I have had early, prolonged Halloween this year -- since about September 14th, just reading the news-- ghouls, goblins and ghosts in suits and with cellphones getting out of limos and meeting at the Fed to discuss the fate of their peer firms, layoffs industry-wide and beyond, quite scary!! When I get used to that, I just check the Dow and the rest of the new haunted house (the Business section of the news) and try not to howl so loud my officemates hear :-).
I just wanted to let you know in response to something you said in a previous post that I check this blog daily (usually several times actually, even though I know I usually won't see anything different). I am grateful this is here, because I think you and Monica and E and your small army of sons (and the daughters in law) have your work cut out for you already and this is a manageable way of keeping us all posted without using your needed sleeping time to separately answer e-mails, etc. I have had trouble posting, which looks like it's fixed, but I also find it hard to post in response to some of what you post because it involves so may emotions (may I say I think your bravery in what you are going through is multiplied by your bravery in writing about it!).
I think it's great to develop an "addiction" to TV at a time like this -- especially if you have cable! From what I understand (I don't have cable) there is a lot of quality out there now, not only lots of documentaries but also critically acclaimed drama or comedy series, classic movies, maybe even foreign news channels that you can use to practice a language you want to brush up on. Do you have cable? If not, we need to get on the task!! I hope you also have a good remote and a nice screen that won't wear out your eyes?
Anyway, I will be thinking of you on Wednesday (and Sunday, Monday, Tuesday Thursday...).
Much Love,
Abigail
i just want you to know how much i love you and admire the courage and strength that you have shown to all of us especially me... you were my rock when i needed you so please know once more that i am here for you. i love you so very very very much...
always always
your sister
P.S. tell gordon how very much we all love and appreciate him...big hugs
xoxoxoxo
your sis
I am glad you are journaling. Your openness to share your fears and concerns is one small sign of your courage.
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